5 tips to prepare yourself for public speaking with calm and confidence
Friday night as I waited to go on stage in front of over a hundred people, I had a million thoughts running through my head, one of which was: remember, you chose to do this.
I was so nervous.
Would I look poised enough walking in heels on a marble floor?
Would my voice shake when I spoke?
How should I stand when I wasn’t speaking?
I know I’m not the only one with a fear of public speaking, and as one of my client’s humorously reminded me before the event, “you talk in front of people for a living”.
He was right.
And talking in front of people when I am teaching them is fun for me. And it’s also all about them.
But this was personal.
The subject was me and I was the center of attention.
Which brings up one of the biggest reasons that public speaking creates so much fear for so many of us:
Most often it’s not about what we’re talking about that makes us nervous, it’s the story our brain is telling ourselves about what the public speaking experience means about us.
If we’re being asked to speak in public, chances are we’re being asked to step out of our comfort zone and put ourselves out there in terms of our knowledge or expertise.
Or being asked to grow in a personal capacity around how we see ourselves and what we are capable of.
We’re asking ourselves to believe in ourselves.
In our knowledge.
In our worthiness.
In our deservedness of having the attention.
Of being in the spotlight.
In my case, this event was the culmination of something that’s been in the works for the past 10 years.
So my brain was telling me, this is B-I-G.
The following night I re-watched the event online (yes, I went up there knowing it was going to be recorded for the masses of the internet to see in perpetuity).
And I was so proud of myself!
I looked poised (and also maybe a little nervous.)
My voice was clear and didn’t shake.
But most importantly, I looked (and was) super happy!!!
And I know none of that was an accident. I had prepared for this event, not only in terms of what I would say, but how I wanted to feel, what I wanted to focus on and the memories I wanted to create.
All of my intention and attention is part of what helped the experience go smoothly and even better than I imagined.
Here are 5 Tips to Prepare Yourself for Public Speaking with Calm + Confidence
Connect to your content: whether you are giving a speech, presenting on a project or reciting a statement, make sure that you understand your why. Why are you the one speaking about this? And why does it matter to you?
In my case, I was reciting a pre-written statement that I had not chosen the wording of myself. So I chose to read through the statement enough times that I could define each of the sentences in a way that was meaningful to me, so that I could speak from a place of my own personal connection to them.
Build in buffer time: if you’re already anxious about speaking, adding stress by running late or doing tasks up until the moment you have to speak is only going to put your brain further into fight or flight mode. Giving yourself some buffer time beforehand to ground yourself and calm your nervous system will give you access to all parts of your brain, which will make it easier for you to remember your words and speak fluently as well as fluidly adapt to the situation in front of you as it unfolds in real time.
In my situation, I was trying to get somewhere on a Friday night in rush-hour and also make sure my family safely arrived as well. After two failed attempts at a Lyft pick up, I got into a cab, still attempting to pick them up on my way, when I got stuck in traffic in Midtown. I panicked and realized in that moment that what was most important was for me to arrive on time with a buffer and trust that they would be OK and find their way. They graciously agreed, and it helped everything unfold more calmly and joyfully.
Visualize your outcome: depending on the type of person you are, you may be someone who wants to visualize the actions you’ll perform, the words you’ll say or how you’ll feel. Visualize whatever brings you joy and makes you feel more confident about your particular situation.
In my case, I love to connect into feelings, so at the beginning of the evening I set the intention that I wanted to remember the evening as joyful and myself as excited.
Be present: remember that this is simply one moment in your life. A life full of many moments and many stories. Allow yourself to be present to the moment and the things that you want to remember about this experience and choose to focus on those things.
In my case, I wanted to remember how it felt to stand somewhere I had looked at a million times, but never stood in before, the specific names and faces of those people who were there supporting and cheering me on including the person standing alongside me, and the brilliance and magnitude of the physical space I was in and being able to see it from a vantage point I had never seen it from before.
Be more excited than you are afraid: excitement and anxiety are two very similar emotions energetically, that come from two opposing states of being. Play a mind game and consciously choose excitement over anxiety.
In my case, I remembered all the times of public speaking in the past when I had been so nervous and felt my heart racing and heard my voice shake as I spoke. I knew I didn’t want this experience to go that way, and I certainly didn’t want to remember myself as being nervous above everything else, so I chose to channel my anxiety into excitement and remember why I was doing it and that I chose to do it. \
And most of all, to remember that this was a celebration!!!
