We’re officially three weeks into the new year and if you’re anything like me (and a lot of people I know) this past weekend might have been full of many reasons for emotional ups and downs.

That’s because many of the things that are currently going on in the world are changes occurring and a lot of unknowns.

And that creates a lot of emotional turmoil in the brain.

The truth is, emotional turmoil happens similarly in the brain whether it’s changes that we DON’T want or changes that we DO want.

The brain doesn’t differentiate, we are the ones that differentiate.

That emotional turmoil is a huge part of why so many of us give up on their New Year’s goals within a few days or weeks after they’ve started.

Maybe that’s you.

Maybe current events have you distracted and forgetting to prioritize your goals.

Maybe you’re already feeling in a bit of a rut.

Maybe you’re feeling a bit unmotivated, overwhelmed or apathetic.

These are all COMPLETELY NORMAL ways to feel on the journey of change.

Here's what the Emotional Cycle of Change looks like:

*12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran: Stages created by psychologists Don Kelley and Daryl Connor*

There are Five Stages people move through emotionally when changing their behavior. Most people often get stuck or quit sometime during the first 3.

Here is how I understand these cycles based on my own experiences:

The first stage, called Uninformed Optimism is often most exciting because we imagine all of the benefits of a change but have not yet experienced any of the costs that it will take to change so we’re feeling more positive. This is the part of change where you’re brainstorming and strategizing how you might create results that you desire.
The second stage, Informed Pessimism, is when we have started putting some of those brainstormed strategies into action. We start feeling a little more negative emotionally because we don't yet see the benefits of a change so they don’t feel as real, important or immediate as our current reality or the cost/work it will take to make these changes.
The third stage, The Valley of Despair, is when we experience the most negative feelings. We’ve given up other things and put a lot of time and energy into changing, but we’re still not necessarily seeing the changes or the benefits of the work and effort we’re putting in yet. It’s the point where we’re feeling all of the pain of changes and the benefits still feel far away.

Click to the blog for 4 Tricks to Get You Out of a Rut Immediately and on your way to Stage 5: Success and Fulfillment...

When we are creating a new habit or making a change we are creating a new neural pathway. Our old habits and behaviors have neural pathways that are like well worn roads, while the new habit we are creating is the road less traveled. On a fundamental level the brain will go to the path it knows best because it expands less energy by choosing that pathway. That’s the path of least resistance, and the one that it can accomplish on autopilot, hence less work and effort for your brain. As you move through stages two and three, Your brain is literally working harder to create and then turn the new neural pathway into a well worn road and therefore expends lots of energy choosing that pathway over the other one that it knows better. However, the more you choose it, the easier it gets. It’s simple math.
In Stage 1 people get stopped by feeling overwhelmed about where to start. Take the advice of Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist, parenting, expert, and founder of Good Inside. Her second grade teacher once told her, if something feels too hard to do, it just means the first step isn’t small enough. So take whatever step you’re overwhelmed by and break it down into a smaller chunk.
In Stage 2 when we’re starting to feel the pain of change we may begin to question if the change is really worth the effort and maybe look for reasons to stop. This is simply your survival brain trying to keep you safe and protect you from the unknown. You can thank it for doing its job and let it know that you’re going to keep moving in the direction that you’re going, because your logical brain (the pre-frontal cortex) understands that you’re still safe in the unknown.
In Stage 3 it’s easiest for people to quit and to rationalize that maybe things weren’t so bad before. This is the stage of change that’s the most important to understand YOUR WHY for making a change. This will give you internal motivation and inspiration that can help you move through the Valley of Despair and start seeing the benefits of change (aka the results of your efforts) and get to the Stage 4, which is Informed Optimism.

Simply being aware of the Emotional Cycle of Change as you’re going through the stages can be helpful in understanding that the current reality of negative feelings or “pains of change" isn't permanent, it's just a part of the stage you're currently in. This understanding can give you an added boost of energy to stay the course, keep your eye on the prize and persevere through the tough spots all the way to Stage 5, which is Success and Fulfillment!