What to do when the holidays don’t feel so merry

Nov 29

Last week before the Thanksgiving holiday I taught a workshop on gratitude journaling.

But truthfully, the holiday season can be a really hard time to be be grateful.

For anyone who’s:

Missing old traditions
Unable to be with loved ones
Coping with loss
Feeling lonely
Trying to start a family
Struggling financially

I feel your pain and am holding space for you.

(If you are struggling with the holidays, I invite you to join me this Monday to learn more about how to manage stress, holistically support your body through travel and process any difficult emotions that may arise during the coming weeks. You can learn more here.)

Add to that the deluge of emails that have been inundating your inbox with Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals that are constantly triggering your brain to ask itself if it wants something it doesn’t have, which brings up feelings of lack and not having enough.

All of this can leave you struggling to feel grateful, or feeling what's known as superficial gratitude.

One where you're intellectually aware of things you're grateful for (the roof over your head, the food on the table, etc.), but you're emotionally unable to CONNECT to and FEEL that gratitude in your body, which is the stage of gratitude where you reap the true health benefits of the practice.

There is a beautiful ritual in Judaism of saying 100 blessings a day, which I’ve always wanted to try.

Part of the purpose of this ritual is to keep the mind focused on gratitude. While this may seem like a pious act, there is actually a scientific benefit for this practice.

The area of the brain that is active and lights up when we have a thought of gratitude, and the area of the brain that is active and lights up when we have a thought of lack are two different parts of the brain.

And these parts cannot be active at the same time.

So gratitude really can actually help us stave off those thoughts and feelings of lack.

I have to admit, in moments where I’m struggling to be grateful, 100 feels a little overwhelming!

So for fun the other day I did what I always do when I find something overwhelming : I figure out ways to break it down.

Here were some possibilities I came up with:

I already practice gratitude when I wake up and go to sleep so I could add in a mid-day session to practice 3 times a day.

100/3 = 33.3

On the other hand, I'm awake an average of 16 hours a day.

100/16 = 6.25

When I considered it that way, thinking of 6 things I'm grateful for every hour doesn't seem like that many.

But if the point is to keep the brain in a mindset of gratitude, spacing the 6 gratitudes out each hour would be better, albeit more challenging.

60/6 = 10

So if I really wanted to challenge my self and make it a game I could do 1 gratitude every 10 minutes.

The point is, there's no right or wrong way to practice gratitude.

However, you'll experience the benefits exponentially when you go into the practice excited about it versus feeling like it's another item on your to do list you HAVE to do.

So consider all your options and find the way that feels most fun for you!

Need a gratitude kick-start?

Join me for a 5-Minute Gratitude Meditation to help you count your blessings.

While gratitude may currently be trendy because of the season, making a daily habit of it now will allow you to reap the benefits long after the holidays are over.